It’s said that marriages are made in heaven and children are the most precious gift that anyone can ever have. This seems true, as most couples have a wonderful time throughout the period of their courtship, marriage and the birth of their child. However, after kids enter the space, things change dramatically for most couples. As chores take center stage, the love and romance start to fade gradually. It’s a challenging time for moms, as they have to share their love and care for both their kids and their partner. As moms spend most of their time tending to the needs of the kids, it becomes difficult for them to find time for their partner. The need to have one’s own personal space also takes a hit.
Such factors start eroding the marriage and fights and arguments may become commonplace. The continued downslide in the relationship can result in divorce. Fortunately for us, this does not happen in every marriage. Many couples eventually realize what’s happening to them. They start to understand the transitions happening in their relationship and accept it as a part of life. They treat it as their evolution to bigger roles and responsibilities and start learning to identify the joys of parenthood. Mature couples are also willing to undertake measures to revive their flagging relationship. If you are experiencing something similar, here are 7 sure fire ways to balance your married life after kids.
Find time for each other:
With kids, you may be finding it difficult to spend quality time with your partner. You need this time, as this is where the most meaningful conversations happen. It is essential for keeping a relationship alive and thriving. You can find such time when your kids may not need you. For example, when you have put your kids to bed and they are sleeping peacefully. Spending just a few moments of quietness and sharing some sweet nothings with your partner everyday can help achieve the right balance in your marriage.
Clearly define roles and responsibilities:
Most men are often reluctant to share the responsibility of taking care of the kids. In such cases, the entire burden falls on moms. You can talk to your partner and explain to them the benefits of sharing the responsibilities of raising the kids. Once he agrees, clearly divide the tasks that each one is expected to handle. When tasks are shared, you will have more energy to nurture the relationship that you share with your partner.
Teach your kids to be independent:
If tending to the needs of your kids is making you exhausted, you can start teaching them to be independent. For example, you can give them potty training or teach them how to make their bed. You can also teach them how to prepare some snacks such as salads or sandwiches. What you teach your kids will depend on how old they are. There are many tasks in the house that your kids can do independently. This will save you a lot of time and effort, which you can use to nurture your marriage.
Boost your sex life:
Often, sex life takes a hit after kids come into the picture. A healthy sex life is the key to a happy marriage, so make sure that you both are getting plenty of it. If you notice that your sex life has been spiraling downwards, discuss it with your partner to understand the underlying problem. Emotional disconnect is one of the most common reasons for disinterest in sex. Consult a sexologist if you are not sure about what exactly is affecting your sex life. A healthy sex life is a must for achieving balance in your married life after kids.
Plan a family vacation:
A vacation can be a delightful experience and it will allow everyone to enjoy time together as a family. The sights, scenes and activities can help you create new bonds and infuse new energy into the relationship. It is also the place for initiating new conversations and sharing your joys and regrets with your partner. If there has been hurt, a vacation can provide the perfect opportunity to accept your mistake and say sorry to your partner. Moreover, as you and your partner watch your kids having loads of fun, it will allow you both to gain new perspectives on life and fill your hearts with joy.
Reminiscing the past:
Although it’s important to focus on the present and future, there’s no harm in taking a trip down memory lane once in a while. Humans are forgetful beings, so old memories can help you understand how things started in the first place and how they have progressed over the years. To reconnect the emotional bond with your partner, you can spend some time together to reminisce the past. You can browse through old photographs or video recordings or visit the place where your relationship had started or evolved. Such activities can help you to balance your married life after kids.
Hire a babysitter:
If your kids are preventing you from exploring the outside world or having fun with your partner, simply hire a babysitter. If you can find and hire a good babysitter, you will be able to allocate more time for yourself and your partner. You can go for a session of spa, watch a movie, have a private dinner with your partner, connect with friends, take part in a social gathering, etc. A babysitter can be a God send in terms of helping you to balance your married life after kids.
It takes time for marriages to lose their zing. In that sense, it will also take time to revive it. So, be patient and keep trying the above measures to see which one works best for you. What is even more important is that you should learn to enjoy the things that you are doing rather than treating it as another chore. Acceptance is also important to balance your married life after kids. Not everything will work as it did earlier, but you can always keep searching for new things that are a reason for joy and happiness in your married life.