Everyone lauds parenthood as one of the most amazing experiences of life, but there are times when it can be frustrating too! Children have a mind of their own, and that makes parenting a rather complex process. Though you have to discipline the child you have to understand his psychology as well. Every day in the life of a parent comes with a list of fresh challenges. While you might overlook some minor faults, there are others that make you go crazy (and even lose the temper). If all that has been written till now looks very familiar, then welcome to the league of parents!
No child is perfect it is the way parents handle and guide them which makes them better. So, managing your child is a big skill and one that you would learn with experience. As a first basic, you should never lose temper while dealing with your child. Children are the world’s finest imitators and they will pick up your aggressive behavior sooner than you can think of! This is why tackling the everyday situations with a smile on your face and tact in your brain is the best way to go about the disciplining job. To elucidate the point further let us take some common parental challenges (that arise while dealing with kid’s attitude) and give you solutions for the same. These would surely guide you into tackling situations the right way.
Common Parental Problems and their Solutions
Problem #1: Managing your child’s frequent tantrums
Children who start crying without any reason at all or those who do not pay heed to any logic are very difficult to manage. They can get on your nerves and it is very easy to lose your temper around them. So, how to manage a child who throws frequent tantrums? First and foremost, try not to react immediately to the situation. It is best to take a few moments and calm yourself down before reacting. Once you are calm, tell your child to stop crying otherwise his demand will not be heard. It is also important to show the child that you are in control of the situation, and are not much affected by his pestering.
Problem #2: Tackling Disobedient Children
As mentioned before children tend to have a mind of their own. And there are children who remain very stubborn. They will not pay heed to what you have to say unless their demands are met. They will say no to whatever you instruct and would disobey all your orders (even the simplest ones). While you may get infuriated with this behavior, it is important to understand their psychology too. Disobedient children do not want to stamp their autonomy on the household. All that they are seeking for is some attention. So, when you witness such rowdy behavior the first step is not to start the curbing job immediately. While at the same time you should not tolerate the rude attitude that he is portraying. Try to hear their side of the story and once they are done put across your opinions. If you are instructing something teach him about the merits of the task and the demerits of his behavior. Your calmness is the biggest asset to tackle the situation!
Problem #3: Mediating in Sibling Rivalry
Managing two children at the same time can be, as it is, very challenging. On top of that if there is an intense sibling rivalry then the situation is apt for the parents to go nuts! There are many households with two or more children, where the parents have to repeatedly handle fights among the siblings on insignificant issues all through the day. While this situation is very frustrating, you have to understand the psychology of the children. Here, each of the children is trying to attract attention towards themselves. In such a situation, the best way is to discipline them separately. So, take both of them to different rooms and allow them to cool down. Once they are pacified, let them explain the stance. Do not judge the children against who is right and who is wrong. This inevitably gives them the impression that you are partial. Rather counsel them on ways to pacify their anger, when there is a conflict. It is also a good idea to have a set of rules in place so that future fights can be avoided.
Problem #4: Stopping Children from telling white lies
Children live in a world of their own. And based on their intellect, they often lie to their parents to turn adverse situations in their favor. While doing so, they often do not know that the parents have already caught their lies. Rather than scolding or punishing them, you should educate them on why lying is a bad practice. Also, tell them how you are able to catch their lies so that they have second thoughts before lying again. Children will take time to understand the evils of lying, so allow them that time.
Problem #5: Taming the Aggressive and Violent Attitude
Angry children can cause embarrassment to parents. It can be an annoying experience to hear complains of your child beating someone up at the school or neighborhood. But punishing or scolding him in such a situation, only makes you equal to what he is doing. If you remain calm you can tackle the situation in a much better way. First of all, try and understand the reason for anger, which in most scenarios would be very trivial. Once you get the full story, start counseling the child on why he is wrong in acting violently. Give him some alternatives to deal with such situations in the future. If you find that the child has abnormal anger pangs, it would be a good idea to start anger management therapies, before the condition gets out of hand.
Problem #6: Removing Study related fears
Children are very shaky learners, and often the fear of failure pegs them back from trying. This is often created due to high parental expectations. Studies are one area where parents inevitably levy high expectations from their wards and this result in a complete disinterest towards education. When your child is showing stiff resistance towards studying you must not force him to perform well. Rather try and understand his difficulties. If there are subjects he does not like, try to help him with those. The counseling process should be slow. With persistence, you can improve the child’s attitude towards studies.
Hope we have been able to give solutions to some of the common parental pressures and challenges that you come across in everyday life.