As parents, it’s natural for us to want our kids to be happy and to see them grow up to be successful people, living a life of abundance and prosperity. With this thought in mind, most parents focus on giving utmost love and care to their kids, getting them the best education, and fulfilling all their needs and demands. However, there are many things that parents may take for granted, just because everyone else is following the same routine. It’s important to understand that what other parents may be doing may not always be right. To ensure the best nurturing for your child, here are some of the most common parenting mistakes that you need to avoid.
1. To believe our children are perfect:
As parents, it’s normal for us to believe that our children are perfect in every aspect. While it’s true that every child is perfect in their own special way, the problem starts when we tend to overdo this part. For example, when meeting counselors or teachers, some parents are just not ready to accept that their child has certain shortcomings or they have displayed some negative behavior. It is okay to believe that our children are perfect, but we should be open to any genuine feedback that we may receive from others. It’s good to encourage children to believe that they are special, but it is also necessary to point out any negativity that they may have, so that they can learn to overcome it. It would be better to fix things early, rather than allow the child to grow up with delusions about himself.
2. To be overprotective:
Some parents try to protect their children from all types of pain, hurt, unhappiness and disappointments. The outcome of such parenting is that children grow up to be unprepared to take on the challenges of life. Children of overprotective parents are also unable to develop the capabilities to face hardships and to find solutions on their own. If we want our children to develop a strong character, resilience and confidence, we need to let them take on the challenges of life and solve problems on their own. This way, they are bound to emerge stronger on the other side.
3. To forget that actions speak louder than words:
When trying to teach certain things to our children, we believe that just words would suffice. However, mere words may not be enough since children learn a lot from our actions and behavior. If we really want our children to learn something, we should first practice what we are trying to preach. For example, if we are trying to teach our kids to be respectful to others, then our everyday actions and behavior should reflect such values.
4. To have great expectations:
No sooner the news of pregnancy comes in, we start thinking about the child’s future and what all they can become and achieve in life. It’s okay to offer proper guidance to kids so that they can excel in their career, but to enforce your own ideas onto your child is something that needs to be avoided. Every kid is born unique and has different capabilities and potential. It would be better to allow children to choose their path as per their own liking.
5. To miss the glory of childhood:
Parenting can be tough and even more so if you are juggling your professional career, home responsibilities and your social life. Moreover, as parents, we also become heavily focused on our child’s future, so much so that we fail to notice how wonderful it really is to spend time with our children and watch them bloom into the flowers they are. Such glorious moments will never come back, so try to have all the fun with your children and make great memories that shall last a lifetime.
6. To compare our child with other kids:
Comparing our children with other kids is a common approach that we utilize to assess their performance. It can be about the child’s grades at school or achievements in sports or other types of extra-curricular activities. Albert Einstein once said that everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. You may be trying to set a benchmark for your child, but when you use the comparison approach, well it does more harm than good. It might make your child stressed and dent their confidence and self-esteem.
7. To over-praise our children:
It’s a common tendency among parents to get over-excited about every little thing that their child may have learned or achieved. It’s good to encourage children, but parents need to avoid over-praising their children. Outside their homes, children may not get such praise, which might demoralize them. Over-praising children can also lead to the stress of living up to expectations, which may prevent the child from taking on new challenges and learning from their mistakes.
8. To get angry and shout at our children:
No matter how great the provocation may be, parents should avoid getting angry or shouting at their children. It’s very rare that children will do something intentionally that may cause parents to get angry. Parents should try to talk to their child to understand the reasons for their specific behavior. Getting angry and shouting at our children does not help, as it may prompt the child to go into a shell or become rebellious. It may even affect their psyche as an adult.
The right approach to parenting would be to think about the long-term impact that our actions and decisions will have on our kids. It would be like preparing your kid for the future and not preparing their future for them. The goal should be to teach your kids to be self-reliant, so that they can turn out to be successful human beings in the future. You may have to take some tough decisions in this regard, but it would do a lot of good to your kids when they grow up to be adults.